it's not that my rules are hard to follow, it's that i have a hard time not saying 'no'. i think i just want B to punish me. i'd been put in the corner twice for it already, so when i did it again last night i got a spanking. and somehow i felt .... content? afterwards.
i'm not sure that's a good thing, and i'm not sure how i tell him i want him to spank me more often. that seems backwards.
other than that, i think i've been doing really well at behaving and following my rules. 'cept for going to sleep/waking up on time. cos he's been lenient in some respects. i.e. last night, we both fell asleep at 10PM and woke up around 1.30AM .... and didn't go *back* to sleep til 5AM. altho, i tried, i really did. and as a result, i didn't wake up until 2PM. he let me, cos he knew i hadn't slept ... but still! i guess i should just force myself. get myself on schedule.
can someone tell me what it is about being told you're not allowed to masturbate that makes you want to do it even more?!