it's rainy and really icky outside today. it's cold and windy and it's literally been raining all day long. not a hard rain, just a constant, annoying drizzle. normally, i enjoy days like this. my housemate and i are making soups and we've got a fire going so we're nice and cozy. we also chose today to start cleaning things thoroughly, so there's books and shit just everywhere. i want to snuggle up with my pillow and take a nap.
i also, for some unknown reason, really really want B to use me.
i really want to be thrown around like a rag doll and objectified, and raped perhaps. i told him this and he very much liked the idea. the problem being the distance, of course.
"i'd force you to your knees and shove my cock in your mouth," he said ... which totally turned me on.
"and fuck my throat til i gag?" i suggested.
"and if you do, i'll have to take it out and slap you, and remind you to be a good girl."
we bantered back and forth like that for awhile. my favorite part being where he told me he would use all my holes til i was sore and he'd make sure my ass was red.
and in ten days, he could really do that.....
speaking of which, i leave for my visit with B in exactly eight days from today. next sunday. one week from tomorrow. i've been told i'm to send him a picture every day until i leave, either with my webcam or my cell phone, and if B likes the picture i'll get one in return. so today i sent one of me with no makeup on and he sent me one of him as a reward. he's so handsome, it was nice to see his face in a picture just for me :]
i'm really enjoying how our relationship is developing.
i remember reading something Persephone said about how it should be something that devlopes naturally between two people. i completely agree.
B isn't sadistic, but he's said he'll hurt me if he knows i'll enjoy it. not seriously wound me, but that's not what i want anyway. he wants to take care of me and i really like that.
i don't, and am not going to, call him 'master' or 'daddy' or any of that and am glad that he doesn't ask me to. i do call him 'sir' when i'm trying to be serious or playful, or just trying to be good, and i personally like that.
i don't think i need a lable to know that he owns me, but B did speak of making a paddle with his signature on it, so i'd have it imprinted on my ass. i told him i'd wear his mark proudly.